Vaidya Kumar goes home at Diwali to see his parents who are in their 80’s. He discovers that they are having problems remembering things, so Vaidya Kumar checked them out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. After checking the couple out, Vaidya Kumar tells them they are physically okay, but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things.
The couple thank their son. Later that night while watching TV, the mother got up from her chair and his father asks, "Where are you going?" She replies, "To the kitchen." He asks, "Will you bring me a bowl of ice cream?" She replies, "Sure." He then asks her, "Don’t you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" She says, "No I can remember that."
He then says, "Well I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down because I know you will forget that." She says, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." He replies, "Well I also would like cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down. With irritation in her voice, she says, "I don’t need to write that down! I can remember that." She then fumes into the kitchen.
After about 20 minutes she returns from the kitchen and hands him a plate of Idli Dosa Vada. He stares at the plate for a moment and says angrily: "I TOLD you to write it down! You forgot the Sambar!"
Vaidya Kumar’s uncle went to the doctor (a real doctor!) for a check-up. He had two visits and exhaustive lab tests. The doctor said,” I think you are doing "fairly well" for your age.”
A little concerned about that comment, the uncle asked him, "Do you think I’ll live to be 80?"
The doctor asked, do you smoke tobacco or drink alcohol?"
"Oh no," the uncle replied. "I’m not doing either."
Then he asked, "Do you eat steaks and barbecued ribs?"
The shocked uncle said, "No, red meat is very unhealthy, I am a vegetarian!"
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"
No, I don’t," the uncle said.
He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"
"No," the uncle said. "I don’t do any of those things."
The doctor looked at Vaidya Kumar’s uncle and said, "Then why do you give a hoot if you live to be 80?”
Vaidya Kumar takes his father to the mandir for a special meditation session when about halfway through the event his father leaned over and said to him, "I just had a silent passing of gas. What should I do?"
Vaidya Kuma leaned over to him and replied, "When we get home put a new battery in your hearing aid."
Vaidya Kumar had an uncle who had been married for 40 years to his wife and where also celebrating their 60th birthdays. Being devote Hindus the Goddess Lakshmi appears during the celebration and said that because they had been such a loving, devote couple all those years, she would give them one wish each.
Being a faithful, loving spouse naturally the aunt wanted to have a romantic vacation together and have a break from cooking and the housework, so she wished for them to travel around the world first class.
The goddess waved her hand and boom! Auntie had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband’s turn and the goddess assured him he could have any wish he wanted, all he needed to do was ask for his heart’s desire.
He paused for a moment, then said, "Well, honestly, I’d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me." Lakshmi waved her hand and boom!
He was 90 years old!
Vaidya Kumar heard about three sisters, ages 92, 94, and 96 who lived in a house together down the street from his parents. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells down the stairs, "was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94 year old yells back, "I don’t know. I’ll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. Then she yells, "was I going up the stairs or down?"
The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea and listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful." She knocks on wood for good measure. She then yells, "I’ll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who’s at the door."