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Home page > Vaidya Atreya Smith > Pancha Karma Jokes

Pancha Karma Jokes

Vaidya Kumar returns to India after a year in the USA and Europe and feels pretty clogged up from the strange food, so he decides to go for a Pancha Karma at his friend’s clinic. While there he meets Akashji another patient getting PK. These are a few things he noted in his journal:

Vaidya Kumar and Akashji are talking one day at lunch and Akashji confides that his father, who is a bit elderly, does not believe in coming to a clinic to do Pancha Karma. “Why is that”, asks Vaidya Kumar. “Well”, answers Akashji, “He says that all he needs to do is watch a political debate on TV and he has an immediate Vamana. So why spend the time and money to come to a clinic?”


One day another couple check in to the clinic. Vaidya Kumar and Akashji look at each other and begin to comment to each other. “I think it could be a bit hard to share a room during Pancha Karma”, comments Vaidya Kumar. “Well you know what they say in Ayurveda”, reply’s Akashji, “a family who shits together stays together”.


After his Virechana Akashji slowly limps into the eating area. Vaidya Kumar looks over at him and asks, “Did everything come out all right?”


All of his Malas are moving out so well that Vaidya Kumar becomes poetic and recites, “To pee or not to pee, that is the question!”


It happens to be New Year’s Eve while Vaidya Kumar is doing his Pancha Karma. It turns out that the couple at the clinic with him and Akashji are French. They disclose the fact that they brought a bottle of French champagne along with them for New Year’s Eve. Vaidya Kumar absorbs this information and says, “It is not advised to drink champagne during Pancha Karma.”. The French couple laugh and reply, “Oh, we are not going to drink it, it is for the New Year’s Eve Basti!”


You know you have been in Pancha Karma too long when:

- Kichree begins to look like a three course meal

- Virachana seems normal

- You look forward to getting a Basti

- You think wearing diapers is normal

- You think it is normal to be dipping with oil all the time

- You think it is normal to be dripping with oil from EVERYWHERE

- Your dreams are dominated by food

- Your food is dominated by dreams


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