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Home page > Vaidya Atreya Smith > Jokes with doctors 7

Jokes with doctors 7

Vaidya Kumar goes to a medical convention and overhears five surgeons discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians. Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers. They always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end and when the job takes longer than you said it would."
But the fifth surgeon shuts them all up when he observes: "Lawyers are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, no balls and no spine. Plus the head and ass are interchangeable.


Vaidya Kumar visits Beverly Hills where a friend of his introduces him to a famous doctor at his luxury clinic. This doctor was a plastic surgeon who invented a radical new face lift procedure and was in the process of explaining it to a prospective patient. He told her, "I’ll install a special screw in the top of your skull. Your hair will cover it so it will be unnoticed. Whenever you need a little tuck, we’ll just tighten the screw a little,... and the wrinkles will disappear!"
The woman was enthused and told the doctor to, "go for it!" The surgery was a resounding success, and the woman went home happy.
Vaidya Kumar contacted the doctor a year later on another trip to California and asked about the woman. The doctor said that actually the woman had returned in a great state of agitation after six months. She had pointed to her face and said, "Just look at these bags under my eyes! Where the hell did they come from?"
The surgeon had looked at her closely and said, "Those aren’t BAGS under your eyes. Those are your breasts. And if you keep messing around with that screw pretty soon you’ll have a goatee!"


Vaidya Kumar learned that in modern pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and a generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol has a generic name of acetaminophen. Aleve is also called naproxen. Amoxil is called amoxicillin and Advil is also called ibuprofen. The Americans were looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, they recently announced that it had settled on the generic name of mycoxafloppin. Also considered were mycoxafailin, mydixadrupin, mydixarizin, mydixadud, dixafix, and of course ibepokin.

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