Vaidya Kumar is in San Francisco for a conference on non-conventional medicine. While there he overhears a Chinese doctor telling this story of one of his recent patients. A man went on a trip to China. While in China, he was very sexually promiscuous and did not take any precautions. A week after arriving back home he awakens one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately went to see his doctor.
The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results. The man returned after a couple of days and the doctor says, "I’ve got bad news for you. You’ve contracted Mongolian VD. It’s very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it."
The man looks a little relieved and says, "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up doc."
The doctor answers, "I’m sorry, there’s no known cure other than to amputate your penis."
The man screams in horror, "Oh no! I want a second opinion!"
The doctor replies, "Well it’s your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice."
The next day, the man seeks out the Chinese doctor telling the story, figuring that he’ll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, "Ah yes, Mongolian VD. Very rare disease."
The guy says to the doctor, "Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can you do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!"
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs, "Stupid American doctor! American doctor, always want to operate. Make more money, that way." "Then there’s no need to operate? Oh, thank God!" the man replies. "Yes!" says the Chinese doctor, "You no worry! Wait two weeks, it fall off by itself!"
A man goes to Vaidya Kumar and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well.
The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The Vaidya says, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water."
Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "Jeez doc, exactly what’s my problem?"
Vaidya Kumar says, "You’re not drinking enough water."
Vaidya Kumar has a cousin who runs a pharmacy in Atlanta. While visiting his cousin a man walks into the pharmacy laughing hysterically, orders 2 condoms, still laughing, pays the cousin and walks out laughing. The pharmacist and Vaidya Kumar are perplexed but don’t give it much thought. The next day the same guy walks in laughing hysterically, orders 2 condoms, still laughing, pays the cousin and walks out laughing.
The pharmacist and Vaidya Kumar remember the day before and start to wonder what’s up but not for too long because other customers are there asking for medicine. The next day the same guy walks in laughing hysterically, orders 2 condoms, still laughing, pays the pharmacist and walks out laughing. Vaidya Kumar leaves Mumbai but asked his cousin to find out what is going on with this guy so he arranges with the assistant to follow the guy and find out where he is going, should the man return.
The same guy comes back the following day, laughing hysterically, orders 2 condoms, still laughing, pays the pharmacist and walks out laughing.
The assistant followed him as per his orders and came back 20 minutes later. The puzzled pharmacist asked his assistant where the man went? The assistant said: "Your house."